


I know what I want for Christmas

by rjwritergirl



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Steggy Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22055980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rjwritergirl/pseuds/rjwritergirl
Summary: Christmas 1944 and the Howling Commandos decide to have a secret Santa to exchange gifts
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for bearholdingashark on tumblr for a Steggy Secret Santa. I don't know their ao3 handle, otherwise I'd tag them. Sorry it took me so long to get this posted! Merry (Late) Christmas!

_**December 20th, 1944; London SSR HQ** _

Peggy Carter looked up as she heard Bucky Barnes and Morita talking outside in the passageway. The Howling Commandos had flown in the night before. "How long until their next mission?" Peggy asked, looking over at Phillips.

"However long as it takes for them to get clearance from medical," Phillips replied. "Jones, Dernier and Sawyer are injured, and most of them are sick."

Peggy nodded sympathetically. She could hear one of Commandos coughing from the other room. She winced at the violent hacking. Her lungs hurt just hearing it. She would bet more than one of them had walking pneumonia.

"Rogers has to review his fan mail anyway," Phillips groused. "God only knows how long _that's_ going to take." Somehow an address had gotten out for where to send Captain America his fan mail. Even though he was no longer performing, people still wrote letters and sent packages. They'd hired a few young ladies to go through the mail to collect and distribute everything, but there was still a backlog.

"Colonel Phillips," Peggy felt her heart skip a beat as Captain Rogers approached the both of them. "You said there was a backlog of my fan mail?" Peggy flushed at the sight of Steve in his uniform. _Honestly Peggy, you act like he's the first man to look good in a uniform,_ she chastised herself.

"Two doors that way, and to your right," Phillips pointed in the direction he spoke of.

"Thank you." As Steve turned, he noticed Peggy. Steve smiled and quietly spoke, "Agent Carter."

"Captain Rogers, it's good to see you," Peggy greeted warmly.

"Good to see you too." For a moment, Steve started to say something else, but at the last minute he turned away and walked toward the mail room.

An hour later Dugan came into the main office. "Since we're going to be here for Christmas, we're putting our names in for a Secret Santa; want to join, Agent Carter? Colonel Phillips?"

"Not me, no." Phillips declined, returning his attention to the papers on his desk.

"I'd love to." Peggy volunteered. "When are we exchanging gifts?"

"Christmas day," Dugan said. "I'll be by later to let you pick a name out of my hat." He left a file on the table and left the room.

Peggy stood, stretched. She'd been sitting most of the morning, and needed a break. Her tea cup was nearly empty, so she started to make her way to the mess hall to top it up. She slowed when she walked past the mail room. "Now, we've collected a few other things we're not sure what to do with," a woman's voice informed, tinged with just a touch of maiden in distress.

"What things?" Captain Rogers asked. Peggy stopped completely. She wasn't sure she liked Private Joan's tone of voice. She'd overheard Private Joan that morning making a crass comment about getting Steve out of his uniform.

"We...ell…..." Another lady, Private Olive drew out the word.

One of Peggy's eyebrows arched.

"We collected them all into this box." Private Joan easily pulled out a box from under a table. "We were hoping you could tell us if you wanted _us_ to have them or if you wanted to keep some. Maybe to give to a special girl?"

"I don't have a girl..." Steve was in the middle of signing something and didn't look into the box as he reached over and pulled out a pair of very lacy knickers. Once he saw what he was holding, Steve dropped it as though it had burned him. "Oh…." His cheeks turned pink and the ladies tittered in amusement at his embarrassment.

Peggy's temper flared. Although Steve was smart and had made strides in not completely embarrassing himself in front of women, he was still rather naive. From the gleam in Private Joan's eyes, it was obvious to Peggy that the Private was doing this on purpose. Joan took a few steps forward and Peggy did so as well. "How is the mail sorting?" Everyone jumped in surprise. They were not expecting to be interrupted. "Ladies? Captain Rogers?"

"I...ummm." Steve flushed an even deeper shade of pink. "The ladies were just..." He tried to discreetly toss the knickers back into the box, but hit the box with his hand instead and it tumbled to the ground. Various items of lace and silk spilled out. "They're not mine. I'm not… They're not..."

Peggy turned to Private Joan. "I thought you'd read the manifest that listed what Captain Rogers wanted you to keep from his fan mail."

"I did." Private Joan forced a smile at her superior.

"So did I, and I happen to remember that nowhere on that manifest were ladies knickers and garters listed," Peggy said, "so why are they here? You were supposed to have gotten rid of them."

"Since it wasn't on the manifest..." Private Joan said. "We weren't sure _if_ he would want them. We figured we should double check."

Peggy's lips pursed, disbelieving the excuse.

"I don't," Steve interjected. "I don't need them; do whatever you want with them."

"Well if you don't want them Captain Rogers, I suppose we'll keep them." Private Joan turned to Peggy "You can have first pick, Agent Carter."

"Thank you, no," Peggy said curtly. "I don't need to pick through a box of discarded knickers." Peggy turned and left the mail room. Dum Dum approached her in the mess hall and held out his bowler hat.

"Your turn to pick, Peggy," he said cheerily.

Peggy reached in and grabbed the only slip of paper in the hat. _**Steve**_. "Thank you, Dum Dum. You said that the gift exchange will be on Monday?" she asked.

"Yes," He paused to cough. "Just find your pick on Monday and give him the gift."

Peggy pressed her cup of tea into his hands. "You need something warm, I'll get another cup."

"Thanks, Peggy."

Peggy got herself another cup of tea and went back to her desk. She had a fresh stack of papers that needed to be signed. As she was finishing that up, Steve returned from the mailroom and approached her.

"May I sit here?" He gestured to the seat next to her desk. "I need a break from the ladies."

"Go ahead," Peggy invited. "Joan and Olive can be a bit much," she empathized.

"When did they start sorting my mail?" Steve inquired. "How long ago, I mean."

"Several months, I think. I seem to remember they came over during the summer." She shuffled a few papers around. "Why?"

"I was expecting a lot more personal mail." Steve's brow furrowed. "I made sure I listed both names and addresses on the manifest for the items to keep, but I've only received a few letters and no packages. After I took the serum Mrs. Barnes promised to keep me in new hats and socks. The last letter I got from her promised another pair of socks-four months ago. It doesn't take her that long to finish knitting."

"Maybe it's been misplaced? It seemed as though there was a lot of mail in there."

"Finished with your fan mail already?" Colonel Phillips asked, walking by.

"Not exactly." Steve set his tea cup down and stood at attention. "I'm wondering if Privates Joan and Olive have done much work at all. Even with a lot of letters and packages coming in, I feel like there should be less of a backlog. I just wanted to take a break for a moment, I'll go back in and continue to work on it." With a nod, Steve did an about-face and headed back to the mailroom.

Lunch time arrived and Peggy had a quick bite in the mess hall. As she was returning to the office, she nearly ran into Steve who was taking two boxes to the barracks where the Howling Commandos were berthed.

"What's all this, Captain?" Peggy asked.

"I get a lot of packages with clothes in it. Hats and sweaters and stuff. We'll be going into Poland next, so I want to make sure the men have enough clothes to stay warm."

"I'm surprised there's not more than just these boxes." Peggy said.

"There's actually two more, but I can't carry more than this and see." Steve gave a shrug and walked away.

Peggy went to the mail room, it was obvious which boxes Steve had been talking about and she grabbed both of them.

"I'm surprised you didn't jump at the chance for some new knickers," Private Joan spoke from the corner. "It's obvious that you and Rogers are shagging. It would have been nice for you to have a new garter to show off." She used the British slang with an over-exaggerated accent.

"Good day, ladies," Peggy responded coolly, grabbed a box, before turning on her heel.

Colonel Phillips stepped into the room and looked around. "Captain Rogers was right, you haven't..." He stopped as he saw the box of knickers. "What's that?" His tone grew flat.

Peggy slipped out of the mailroom while Private Joan attempted to stammer out an explanation. Peggy slowed as she came to the door of the makeshift barracks they'd set up to house the Commandos. From a distance she could hear Bucky and Steve talking.

"Why would they send me their underclothing?" Steve asked stupidly. "I'm a man, I don't wear it."

Barnes laughed. "That's not why they send you their underwear, Steve. Please tell me you kept at least one."

"No." Steve retorted. He mumbled something and Barnes leaned forward.

Barnes shook his head. "We know you're sweet on Carter, Steve, you're about as subtle as a train wreck. Were there nylons in the box? Maybe you could give them to her; I bet she'd figure out a way to thank you….."

"I'm not giving her nylons!" Steve sounded offended. "That's an intimate gift, and we're not…."

Peggy blushed knowing full well that she shouldn't be eavesdropping in on a private conversation. She knew about Captain Rogers' crush. Barnes was right, Steve _wasn't_ subtle. But he hadn't acted on the feelings and he treated her like she was a capable agent. She appreciated that. If he was still interested, she fully intended to accept a dance (or more) after the war, but she had worked hard to get where she was; the last thing she wanted to do was jeopardize it by fraternizing with Steve, or making the higher ups _think_ she was fraternizing.

Dum Dum appeared at the end of the hall. Peggy cleared her throat and knocked on the door jam. "Delivery of winter clothes." she said cheerfully.

"Thanks for bringing it." Steve jumped up and took the boxes. "I was about to go back to the mailroom…."

"Private's Joan and Olive weren't able to get rid of the box of knickers before Phillips saw it," Peggy informed. She gave a wry smile. "I'm giving the mail room a wide berth at the moment."

"I would as well." Steve agreed.

"Did you get the package from my mom?" Bucky asked Steve. "She said she's mailed you three pairs of socks already."

"The last thing I got from your mom was back in August. Just a letter, though. I figured she was busy knitting for her son."

"That's why she sent you socks, dummy." Bucky threw his pillow. "You're her son just as much as I am. Even if she didn't birth you."

"I haven't heard from Becca since July." Steve caught the pillow and put it on his bed. "And Mrs. Evans never responded to my last letter either."

The fact that Steve had had trouble getting his mail ever since Private Joan had been stationed in the mail room made Peggy suspicious. She abruptly turned and left the barracks.

Dum Dum looked around and then held out his bowler hat. "Last pick for Secret Santa." Steve reached out and picked up the only piece of paper in the hat.

"Of course I picked Agent Carter." Steve crumpled the paper in his hand and groaned.

"Now I bet you really regret tossing the knickers." Bucky joked.

"It would be incredibly inappropriate for me to gift her underclothes." Steve said. "I'll just find something from a package, after all, a lot of people have sent me chocolate." He gestured to the boxes. "Feel free to go through the clothes, I don't need all of them. We're going into Poland next, take extra to stay warm."

With that, he left the barracks. Dum Dum and Bucky looked at each other. "You made sure she picked Steve?" Bucky asked, once the coast was clear.

Dum Dum grinned broadly. "Yeah. Same trick I pulled with Cap, I made sure his name was the only one in the hat and approached her when she was alone so she wouldn't know that I'd messed with the secret Santa draw."

* * *

Peggy got back to the mail room just as Phillips was ordering Private's Joan and Olive for KP duty for the foreseeable future.

"How long have you been working in the mail room?" Phillips asked the new face. Peggy recognized her as new recruit, Lavinia.

"Just last week, Colonel." Peggy answered. Lavinia was barely eighteen. Her only accomplishments were following Joan and Olive's orders. "If you can spare me and her, I'll see if I can make some sense out of this mess."

"I'll see if I can spare anyone else." Phillips groused. "Until then you're on postal duty."

"Yes, sir." Peggy said. Phillips left and Peggy surveyed the mail room with a careful eye. "Where's the manifest?"

"I don't know. Joan and Olive never let me see it."

Peggy sighed heavily, went to her desk, riffled through one of the drawers and came back with a file. "This is a copy of the manifest..."

Steve poked his head into the room. "Is it safe?" he asked the pair.

"From Phillips? Yes. From me, not quite. I'm on mailroom duty until we can get a few more ladies in here." Peggy rolled her eyes.

Steve stepped into the room. "I'll be happy to help as long as I'm on leave."

Together, the three of them made some sense of the mail room before dinner. They still hadn't found the letters from Mrs. Barnes, nor the packages, and it greatly distressed Peggy. Had Private Joan really thrown out Steve's packages and personal letters? And why?

The trio made their way to the mess hall, Lavinia went to go sit with her friends but Peggy and Steve sat next to each other at an empty table near the kitchen.

"Uggh, that prissy English bitch." Peggy and Steve both stopped eating when they recognized Private Joan's voice behind a closed door. "It's her fault we're on KP duty."

"It's not like we were going to _keep_ his letters, just comfort him while he looked and then he'd want to thank us for finding his personal mail," Olive whined.

"Us?" Joan asked. "Me. Phillips took my key, so I can't go in to the mail room to get the letters. Someone will find it," Joan retorted defensively.

Peggy and Steve locked eyes. The letters and packages were somewhere in the mail room. As one, they pushed their plates away and stood.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2: December 20th**_ _**1944:**_

“Well,” Peggy surveyed the mail room again with a critical eye. “As long as we keep the door locked when we leave, we’ll find your mail, Captain.” She looked up at him. “It can’t have gone too far.”

They turned to with purpose. Peggy cleared out the two desks Olive and Joan have been working from. She quickly riffled through the drawers in a desperate attempt to locate the missing mail.

“Drat,” she muttered under her breath.She’d assumed the missing mail would be in either of their desks.

“Why would they even send me...these?” Steve asked, throwing a pair of undergarments, plus a picture, into the trash bin. Peggy stifled a giggle. “I just don’t understand it.” He blushed,“I guess I’m still not used to dames.. ladies..” he corrected himself “...paying attention to me.”

“I bet you get quite a lot of attention now.” Peggy closed the drawer in Joan’s desk.

Steve shrugged. “Yeah, I’m still not completely sure how to talk to ladies, though.”

“You’re talking with me just fine.” Peggy smiled.

“You don’t count.” Steve said offhandedly. Peggy paused and Steve looked horrified as he realized what he’d just said. “What I mean, Agent Carter.. you do count. You’re obviously a woman, a beautiful one. More beautiful than most. I mean...” He stopped. You’re not just a woman; you’re more than that. You’re different...you’re an agent...we’ve talked before, his brain screamed, and I still don’t know a damn thing about women.

Peggy tried not to show how amused she was. It was clear that Captain Rogers had a crush. “You’re learning,” she replied softly. “And any girl would be lucky to have you, Captain Rogers.”

Embarrassed, Steve turned back to the letters. He shifted through the stack and set two envelopes aside.

“Letters from home?” Peggy asked.

“Not exactly. A couple of girls from the USO circuit I was on. I still write them occasionally.”

“That’s good that you’ve made friends” Peggy said. Steve opened a package and made a face as he pulled out another garter. “I’m sure that the knickers and pictures come because the ladies want you to write to them. They’re probably hoping for a wartime romance and to marry Captain America after all is said and done,” she half-teased.

“I’m not impressed with women who are that bold.” Steve said confidently. “She’s a blonde.” He flicked the picture into the trash bin. “I don’t like blondes.”

Peggy stood and walked over to the table where Steve was working. He tossed various items he was unpacking from the letters and boxes.

“I’m surprised that you’re willing to help with the mail tonight. Barnes isn’t too sick to go out dancing. He didn’t drag you with him?” Peggy wondered out loud.

“There’s a better chance of him getting a dance if I’m not around.” Steve shrugged indifferently. “Women like Captain America; they’ve turned Barnes down in front of me since I got the serum.” He opened a package, sniffed the chocolate bar in it and then placed it into the box for perishables. The rest of the contents were split between two other boxes. “I don’t know how to dance,” he confessed.

“If we had a radio in here, I’d offer to teach you,” Peggy offered. Steve dropped the box he’d picked up, books spilled onto the floor. He dropped to his knees to put the items back into the box.

“Second thought, we don’t want anyone to walk in on us like that,” Steve declined.

“Probably so,” Peggy agreed. She moved an empty box to the table. There was an awkward silence. Finally Peggy grabbed a couple pieces of paper. “I’m going to make a second and third copy of the manifest of what to do with your mail, that way we have extras.”

“Good idea, I’ll keep sorting through the mail.” Steve continued with his chore.

Peggy returned to the office with the copies. After pinning the second manifest to the wall, she turned to find Steve had nearly cleared off another desk. “Still no sign of them?” she asked, knowing full well that Steve would have said something.

“No, but now I have plenty of chocolate, cigarettes and books.” Steve gestured to the boxes in front of him. There was a new stack of boxes next to him, the top one was full of letters and he stacked one box on top of each cleared off desk.

Peggy turned to the third desk. Could the missing mail be in it?

“Do you have any idea of what to do with these books?” Steve asked. “I can’t possibly read them all and we can’t cart them around Eastern Europe in the hopes that someone will want to trade for information or supplies.”

“If it were me, I’d take a few to read or trade and then put the rest in the mess hall.” Peggy suggested. “Or in Medical.”

“Good idea,” Steve said. “If there are any books you’d like, feel free to help yourself.” Peggy smiled, and his heart did a somersault in his chest.

“Thank you.” She pursed her lips. “There’s actually one I’m searching for. I had a copy in my bedroom at home, but my house got caught up in the London blitz. It’s ‘The Hobbit’, have you heard of it?”

“Yes, I started reading it once when I was sick. But Mrs. Barnes accidentally took it back to the library before I finished.” Steve revealed.

“My brother and I took turns reading aloud from it. It was the last thing we did before he joined the military in ‘39,” Peggy said quietly.

Steve smiled. “Are there any other books you’re looking for? Anything you like to read?” Mentally he kicked himself for not thinking of a better topic of conversation.

“Anything, really. I wasn’t able to save much after the house was bombed.” Peggy paused as she set a candy bar into the box left of her, she reached over and dropped the accompanying letter into the box on her right.

There was a knock at the door. “Sure you don’t want to come with us Cap?” It was Dum Dum, “There’s a pub down the street….”

“I’m fine here,” Steve declined the invite. “Besides, you’ll have more of a chance to get girls if I’m not there.”

Dum Dum eyed the box of cigarettes. His hand reached out. “Do you mind if I take a few?”

“Feel free to take as many as you want.” Steve motioned to the box. “I can’t smoke them all.”

It was then that Dum Dum saw Peggy. “Oh, hello Peggy.” He grinned. “Fancy seeing you here.” He started digging through the box.

“Phillips assigned me to the mail room until we get this mess organized,” Peggy said. “I can tell this will take more than a few days.”

Dum Dum nodded, looking around. “I heard a rumor that the previous mail ladies weren’t doing their job.”

“We’re pretty sure they’re hiding my personal mail here too,” Steve added. “Agent Carter and I overheard Private Joan in the kitchen.”

Dum Dum whistled, “Barnes mentioned something about some packages from his mom.”

“Come on, Dum Dum,” Barnes stuck his head in, “let’s go.”

“Sure you don’t want to come?” Dum Dum asked Steve.

“You’ll have a lot more fun without me. Go have fun, and that’s an order!” His smile belayed the serious words.

“Yes Sir!” both Barnes and Dum Dum snapped a weak salute and left laughing.

Peggy smiled as she opened a letter that had a drawing in it. It was childish, but Steve smiled when he saw it too. “Set it over there.” He pointed to the file cabinet. “I’ll respond to that personally.”

She glanced at her watch, surprised that it was after 8pm. “I’m going to pop over to the mess hall to get a fresh cup of tea. Would you like a cuppa?”

“Yes, thank you. I’ll have what you’re having,” Steve said. “I’ll go through this desk.” He gestured to the third desk. Peggy nodded and left the mail room.

There was a radio playing in the mess hall, a corporal mopping in the corner. Peggy softly hummed along as Nat Shilkret sang about love. For a moment, she was taken back to her childhood home as her mother instructed her and her brother Micheal on how to dance properly. She managed to find two tea bags and carefully carried both cups back to the mailroom. When she got in, Steve had a drawer open and was rifling through the desk.

“Here.” Peggy set the cup down on the clear desk.

Steve shot a smile at her, “Thank you,” He took a sip.

Peggy sat for a moment to rest her feet. Rest completed, she stood and grabbed a box from the towering pile in the corner. It surprised her that a desk lamp was visible between a couple of boxes. “Is there a desk behind here?” Peggy asked, there were boxes in front, and she’d grabbed one from the taller stack in back. She sat the box down and moved back to the stack of boxes.

“I thought there were only three desks.” Steve stood as Peggy moved another box. She could see the green metal surface of a desk.

Peggy shifted a stack of boxes and then looked up at Steve. “This desk was hidden on purpose.”

Quickly, they moved the stacks and went through the drawers. Nothing in that desk had Steve's name on it. “Huh.” Peggy jostled the desk. Due to their cramped quarters, they were unable to move the desk very far. Steve finally picked up one side of the desk so Peggy could get onto her hands and knees to grab whatever it was. “It’s paper!” She called out, She passed it behind her and felt Steve take the papers. “This is Mrs. Barnes’ handwriting,” Steve announced.

Peggy gave a strangled cheer and grabbed a few more letters. “There’s a lot behind this desk; let’s clear everything out.” She continued to bring things out from behind the desk—everything from letters to boxes. She had the feeling they were the promised socks and hats. Steve dutifully grabbed everything she passed behind her. Finally the desk was cleared out and she shuffled backwards. Steve set the desk down and helped her up. Peggy brushed her hair out of her face and swallowed nervously when she realized how close she was standing to Steve.

“You were humming earlier.” How had Peggy never realized how long Steve’s eyelashes were?

“Radio in the mess hall. It was playing the song my mother used to teach my brother and I to dance,” Peggy said quietly. She looked up at Steve.

“Are you any good?” Steve asked. “A-At dancing?”

“I know how. And I do enjoy it. But I agree with you, actually, about waiting for the right partner.”

Now it was Steve’s turn to swallow hard. “You do?” he sounded hurt by the remark.

There was a beat as Peggy set her hand on the desk. Her and Steve’s fingers touched. “I do,” Peggy affirmed. Steve stood and took a step forward.

“Maybe,” Steve spoke quietly. “We should...” He leaned forward, Peggy sucked in a breath and closed her eyes.

“Are you still working?” Phillips voice made them jump back. “I knew you’d make some sense of this mess, but It’s past 2100 hours.”

Peggy quickly regained her composure/ “Privates Joan and Olive hid Captain Rogers’ personal mail,” she stated smartly. “We located it—along with other items.” She smoothed her uniform.

“We were just about to close up and hit the rack.” Steve held the Colonel’s gaze without blinking.

“All right.” Phillips said. “Carter, hall, now.” With a nod toward Steve, Phillips turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Peggy followed.

“You wanted to speak to me?” Peggy tried to keep her voice even, but it was taking all of her military bearing not to stammer.

Phillips held up a key. “This is yours until we can get someone else in there. I want the mailroom secured every night before you leave. Is that clear?”

“Yes Sir.” Peggy reached for the key, but Phillips pulled it back.

“Do I need to remind you that interpersonal relationships are strictly forbidden by the UCMJ?” Phillips asked.

Peggy looked solemn. “No sir. You don’t.”

“Good.” Phillips dropped the key into Peggy’s hand, then turned and left. ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The Hobbit: There and Back Again” was published by J.R.R. Tolkien in 1937. Both Peggy and Steve would have been late teens/early 20’s when it came out.
> 
> Nat Shilkret sang a song called “Love is just a little bit of heaven.” It was released in early 1927. Peggy would have been around 8 years old at the time. So I feel like it could have been used to teach Peggy how to dance.
> 
> UCMJ means Uniform Code of Military Justice; basically, the rules of the military.


	3. Chapter 3

_**December 22nd**_ _**1944:**_

Steve rummaged through a box, listening carefully as Peggy gave orders behind him. The new mailroom girl, Ruth, spoke up. "Some of these chocolates are really nice. They really just send you these?"

"Yeah, I'm surprised at what I get." Steve blushed and turned away as Ruth and Millie made eyes at him. Peggy cleared her throat, trying not to let jealousy get the best of her. She and Captain Rogers weren't together. Even if they had _almost_ kissed. Peggy gave a quick shrug. He was at liberty to do whatever with whomever he wanted, she reasoned.

"I'll answer letters while I'm here, but I do need your help to get caught up," Steve held up a paper. "I wrote a draft to use as a response, but feel free to personalize it." He paused as he pulled out another pair of knickers. "I don't need the undergarments, and _don't_ mention them if you respond to the letter. Same with the pictures, don't keep them for me."

"Do you already have a special girl, Cap?" Millie asked, opening a package.

"No, I don't," Steve replied evenly.

"Ahh." Ruth smiled knowingly before throwing a sly look at Peggy, then to Millie. She and Millie exchanged delighted glances. "But there's someone you _want_ to be your girl."

"We'll be taking the stockings," Steve changed the subject abruptly. "...some cigarettes and some of the nicer chocolates to trade with." He pointed to a box they'd been filling. "In case we get stranded or need information, but after we leave, you can have first dibs on anything that comes in. Or put it in the mess hall. As long as my personal mail gets through and the fan letters are responded to in a timely fashion, I don't care what happens to the other items."

Each team took a section of the room and made good dent before Colonel Phillips returned to check their progress. At ten-thirty, Peggy left the mail room with a box of letters to mail out. Steve waited until her footsteps faded down the hall before turning to Ruth.

"Ladies, I need your help." Intrigued by the request, Millie and Lavinia looked up from their boxes. "The Howling Commandos are doing a Secret Santa and I picked Agent Carter. She mentioned the other day about wanting the book called "The Hobbit." If you find it, could you discreetly give it to me?"

All three ladies nodded smiling happily. "We'll have to hide any other copies of it that we find." Lavinia volunteered. "At least until Christmas."

"Right," Steve agreed. "I was also hoping to find out Agent Carter's favorite candy. Out of everything I've been sent it's possible someone mailed some. I don't know London well, otherwise I'd see if I could track it down."

"There's a sweets shop about a mile away; they usually have some hard to find sweets and lollies." Millie said. "Depending on what it is, you might not have much luck finding it so close to Christmas, though."

"Finding what, so close to Christmas?" Peggy asked, walking back into the room.

"Boston Baked Beans candy," Millie said smoothly. "They're my favorite."

Peggy's right eyebrow arched. She reached into the box nearest her and pulled out a box of Boston Baked Beans. The candies rattled as she gave the box a shake. "I wanted to give Cap and the Howling Commandos first dibs since they work so hard," Millie fibbed so easily that Steve almost believed her.

"You can have it." Steve tossed the box over. "We have a couple of boxes packed already."

"What's everyone's favorite sweet?" Ruth asked to break the tension. "Mine are Chik-O-Sticks."

"I like the candy buttons. Whenever I was ill, my mother used to buy me a box on her way home from work," Steve recalled.

"Mine are Fry's Peppermint Cremes," Peggy volunteered.

Millie and Ruth sent Steve a look. "I like Chik-O-Sticks, too," Lavinia was a little louder than necessary.

"Feel free to grab what you want," Steve offered, "I'm not going to be able to eat all of this."

They went back to work and labored up until lunch. At noon, Peggy excused herself to take another box of letters to be mailed out before Mail Call. Hurrying back before the hour was over, Peggy closed the door and spoke in a hushed tone to the trio. "Ladies, I'm part of the Howling Commandos Secret Santa this year and I picked Steve. He mentioned wanting a book, ' _The Hobbit_ '. If any of you ladies see it, could you find a way to give it to me with out him seeing?"

The three ladies shared a surprised look before returning their gaze back at Peggy. Millie made a noise, but Ruth spoke first. "Of course, Agent Carter. We'll hide any Hobbit books we find to make sure Cap doesn't see it."

"Good idea," Peggy agreed. "Now let's hope he doesn't find the book himself, otherwise I have no idea of what to give him."

Millie burst into giggles, Ruth shushed her as Peggy frowned, her comment wasn't _that_ funny.

Peggy opened the door and they went back to work. A while later, Millie quietly slipped a copy of 'The Hobbit' onto the desk Peggy was working on. Peggy quickly hid it under another book she'd grabbed. She smiled her thanks at Millie, who sent her an excited smile.

"What book is that?" Steve asked. For a heart stopping moment, Peggy and Millie shared a horrified glance. Had Steve seen the book?

Lavinia spoke first. "Agatha Christie. I enjoy reading her books."

"I started to read 'Murder on the Orient Express'; I just _could not_ finish it," Ruth confessed. "I usually like her books, but..." As Ruth continued to ramble, Millie and Peggy shared a relieved look.

Looking at her watch, Peggy decided it was time for another break. Grabbing her tea mug, she headed toward the mess hall.

After she left, Ruth slid two peppermint creme bars over to Steve "Here, I just opened the package these were in." Steve smiled and dropped them in the box that was supposed to go to the Howling Commando's barracks, he then put a couple of things on top to hide them from plain sight.

Finally the clock struck 1700 hours. After they finished for the day, Steve hurried down to the barracks with the boxes of geedunk and other items he was keeping for the Howling Commandos.

"I thought stockings were too intimate a gift for Agent Carter?" Bucky teased when Steve pulled out three pairs.

"We're taking them to trade in case we need supplies or info," Steve corrected. "Who knows how long we'll be on the road." He continued to dig through the box and came up with his secret Santa gift. He quickly wrapped the book and candy in some paper, frowning as he finished it. "Something's missing." Steve gestured at the wrapped present.

"What are you giving her?" Falsworth asked.

"A book and candy bars."

"That's more than I'm giving Dum-Dum." Bucky shrugged. "At the pub last night I gave them a ten spot and told them he'd be in after Christmas."

Falsworth and Jones laughed and Steve smiled. "I want this to be special."

"It's obvious you like her, and I'm pretty sure she likes you too," Bucky said. There was a snort behind him and Falsworth choked on his tea. "Just tell her how you feel, she'll either feel the same way or…."

"It could make our working relationship really awkward." Steve interrupted. "Besides, Phillips said the other day that fraternization is strictly forbidden."

"He say that to you?" Bucky asked in surprise.

Steve shrugged. "He said it to Peggy; they were in the hall. I didn't mean to listen in, but my hearing is a lot better..." He gestured to his ear. "Since I received the serum."

"Something tells me she'd be willing to bend the rules a little bit," Jones said saucily.

"I'm not going to put her in the position of losing her job," Steve insisted. "They'd never get rid of me, even if I break the fraternization rule, _she'll_ be the one to get fired."

"I don't know," Bucky tried to rationalize the situation, "Phillips might turn a blind eye to the whole thing." Behind him, Falsworth nodded. "He mentioned the other day that Carter is the best agent he has. He doesn't like having Carter in the mail room right now."

Steve looked downcast. "I just don't want to jeopardize her job."

"Hey, I'm hungry. What say we go grab a bite before we head out?" Bucky suggested. The others nodded willingly to get out of the uncomfortableness of the moment.

The three of them made their way to the Mess Hall. Steve noticed Peggy sitting alone in the corner. He approached her quietly. "If you're not too tired of me yet, Agent Carter, do you mind if I..." He gestured to the table. "Unless this chair is taken."

Peggy smiled and motioned. "Not tired of you at all, Captain Rogers; feel free to take a seat. I'll be leaving soon though, as I need to go Christmas shopping."

"What are you getting Colonel Phillips?" Steve asked, in an effort to make conversation. "Just to make sure we don't buy the same thing."

"I have no idea," Peggy admitted. "There was a book set I wanted to give him, but they raised the price and it's out of my budget now."

"Depending on how much it is, I can put some money towards it," Steve offered. "What book?"

" _The Sinking of the Titanic and Great Sea disasters,_ " Peggy said. "It's a set of four books, Colonel Phillips mentioned an interest in it."

"That sounds interesting. I'll put money towards it, just tell him it's from the both of us."

"Thank you, Captain." Peggy smiled. "Who will you be buying presents for?"

"Bucky's family. Plus I wanted to get a couple of things for the troop I toured with."

"Like what?"

Steve shrugged. "No idea. I suppose I'll just wander the streets of London, waiting for inspiration to strike."

Peggy laughed, "I actually heard that your dance troop was going to be in London after Christmas, if you're still here, you might buy dinner for them."

"Jones' ankle is broken, so it'll be a while before he can get around better. We're actually trying to find someone to replace him temporarily," Steve supplied the update.

"I know of someone who might be a good fit. Private Pinkerton. He's a new recruit. Very good. I'll get you his information. He is fluent in French, so he'll be able to translate for Dernier."

"I'll take a look at him. Thank you for the recommendation." The pair quietly ate their dinner in silence. Putting her fork down, Peggy pushed her plate back. "I'll go get my things and we can set out."

"Why don't we meet here in a few minutes?" Steve suggested.

"Would fifteen minutes be enough time for you?" Peggy sent him a dazzling smile and Steve felt his heart skip a beat. He swallowed hard as she said something and walked away. Steve turned and went to the barracks and grabbed the things he'd need to go Christmas shopping.

Outside in the bitter cold, the pair hurried down the crowded walkway. "Would you mind if I called you Steve?" Peggy asked.

"I agree. Is it all right with you if I call you Peggy?" Steve returned.

Peggy felt her cheeks warm. She liked how her name sounded when Steve said it. "That's perfectly all right." She avoided looking at Steve. She quickened her steps to make it to the bookstore. Peggy led the way to the bookstore. Steve trailed behind her, thinking how this weather would have gotten him sick two years ago. Inside the book store, Peggy looked around for the books she'd had her eyes on. "Did someone buy them?!" she asked, alarmed at the thought.

"I hoped you'd be the one to buy them. I set them aside," the store owner reassured her as he reached under the counter and pulled out the set of books. "Because you did come back, I'll cut you a deal." Peggy gasped happily and opened her pocket book.

"Thank you so much." Peggy said, trying to left the box. Steve took it for her. They went to a couple more stores, trying to find Christmas presents for the special people in their lives. The sun had set by the time they started back to Headquarters. To add to the moment, soft snow fell to coat the area in powdered sugar.

"I know Phillips wasn't planning on taking Christmas off. "Would you like to give the books to him Christmas morning, after breakfast, say about 0900?" Peggy invited in a roundabout way.

"That sounds like a good idea." Steve looked down at Peggy, a few snow flakes had caught on her eyelashes and the streetlight above reflected in her eyes, making them sparkle. "Do you have any other plans on Christmas day?"

"I was planning to go to my parents for Christmas dinner," Peggy said, "They live here in London and I haven't been able to take much time off to see them."

"I'm glad that you're going to be with your family. Bucky was planning on calling his mom. The apartment block next to ours has a phone in the hall, and we'll see if they'll be willing to run over and get her."

Peggy smiled as they walked across the street. "I hope you're able to talk with Mrs. Barnes, I know she's important to you."

They paused at a stairwell. Peggy's barracks were topside; his were two barracks over. "Here." Peggy reached for the box of items she'd bought. "Thank you for carrying it so far."

"Not a problem." Steve fumbled with the box as his and Peggy's hands touched.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Captain Rogers, thank you for accompanying me today." Peggy smiled.

"Thank you for allowing me to join you." Steve could feel the palms of his hands sweating. He attempted to discreetly dry them on his trousers. "I quite enjoyed spending time with you."

Peggy looked up at him, her brown eyes sparkling. "I quite enjoyed our little date as well, Captain Rogers." And with that, she turned and hurried up the stairs. At the top, she turned the corner, stopped and leaned against the wall. _Our little date?!_ Her mind screamed. "Honestly, Peggy," she chastised herself.

"Do you need help with that?" Peggy jerked at the sound of Sargent Barnes' voice. She nearly fumbled with the box, but caught herself.

"Thank you no, it's not heavy, just a bit bulky," Peggy declined the offer. "I do appreciate the offer though." Her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing in the women's corridor, Sargent Barnes?"

Bucky's thumb jerked back to the door of the women's barracks. "Lucy can't hold her alcohol well, I just saw her to the door. I didn't want her to fall on the stairs. Lavinia's taking care of her now."

Peggy nodded, although Barnes was a trustworthy soldier, she made a mental note to double check his story. "I appreciate your taking care of Lucy." She shifted the box in her arms and the objects inside jostled and she could see a book Steve had bought. She set the box down and held it out to Bucky. "Ste-Captain Rogers bought this, it must have gotten mixed up in the wrong box."

Bucky grabbed the book. "I'll get it to him." One eye brow rose. "You nearly called him Steve."

"Well..." Peggy tried not to flush "...that _is_ his name."

"I thought you were supposed to call him Captain Rogers, only." Was Bucky teasing her?

"I called him Steve tonight, because we were Christmas shopping and didn't want to bring him extra attention."

Bucky nodded quietly and gave her a long look. "You still waiting until after the war to go dancing?"

"Yes, Sargent Barnes."

Bucky smiled and held up the book. "I'll get this back to him," he promised, before turning and going down the stairs.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The books Peggy and Steve get Colonel Phillips is actually one book, but I couldn't find a "set" of books for them to buy, so I'm taking a bit of creative license. The book was published before the war though.
> 
> London was no longer under "black out" during Christmas '44. It was under what was referred to as a "dim out", basically, man made light was allowed as long as it wasn't brighter than the moonlight. London didn't get rid of the black-out/dim out until April-ish 1945.


	4. Chapter 4

_**December 25th 1944.** _

Steve woke slowly. Christmas day meant they wouldn't do much work, even with the war on, they weren't on the front line. Yawning, he stretched and sat up, smiling as he saw the gift for Peggy sitting on the crate he was using as a night stand.

"They made a special Christmas breakfast in the Mess Hall!" Dum Dum had risen before him and woke Sawyer and Dernier.

Steve got up and glanced at the clock. 08:15. How had he slept in so much? He quickly dressed, grabbed the present for Peggy, and went to the mess. Peggy was nowhere in sight. He grabbed a small bite to eat before he went searching for her. He scoured the base and finally located her at her desk. As he approached her desk, she looked up, smiling.

"Hello Captain Rogers, I was wondering if you were going to be late," she teased, pointedly looking at the alarm clock she'd set on her desk.

Steve ducked his head. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?" he replied, remembering when he'd saved the men from HYDRA's base.

Peggy's eyes sparkled with humor. "Probably not."

Steve grinned and started to speak, but Colonel Phillips unexpectedly dropped in. "Happy Christmas, Colonel," Peggy greeted cheerily, "we have your Christmas present." Intrigued, the colonel headed toward Peggy. Steve inconspicuously set Peggy's Christmas present down on a nearby desk and stood at attention.

Phillips glanced at his subordinates. "We?" He raised a curious eyebrow at Peggy.

"We had the same idea for a present," Peggy returned smoothly. "So we split the cost."

"The two of you will find your Christmas present in your next paychecks." Colonel Phillips said as he unwrapped the books.

"Thank you Colonel." Peggy and Steve spoke as one.

"Thank you for the books," Phillips said. "Now..." He went back to business. "...with Jones being laid up for so long, I have a couple of ideas for a replacement."

"So do I," Steve interrupted. "Agent Carter said Private Pinkerton might be a good fit for the group."

"He is a good candidate," Phillips agreed. He reached over his desk and grabbed a stack of files. "I have a few more ideas for you to look at and consider."

Steve took the stack of files. "I'll take a look." Phillips headed toward his desk, and Steve sat down to flip through the files. He waited until Phillips was engrossed before leaning over to Peggy, "Do you have Pinkerton's file?" he asked quietly.

From his desk halfway across the room, Colonel Phillips looked up just as Steve leaned over to ask Carter a question. She didn't say anything, just tapped a file on the corner of her desk. Phillips shook his head and fought the urge to roll his eyes. Even if they hadn't yet acted on their feelings, it was obvious the two of them had a crush on the other. Steve flushed and picked up the file. As Peggy turned away, he could see her mouth turn up in a smile.

Phillips turned back to the file in front of him and cleared his throat. Both Peggy and Steve sat up straight, startled. He fought the urge to smile himself. The three of them worked silently for nearly an hour before Steve stood up and started putting some files away. Finished with that chore, Steve concentrated on the smaller stack.

They worked quietly until mid-morning, when the alarm clock on Peggy's desk began to shrill. Phillips looked up, a little annoyed. "The King's Christmas message is at 11," Peggy explained. She quietly put her files into her desk and turned the lock. As she put her keys into her pockets, Steve spoke up.

"When are you going to go to your parents?" he asked.

"I won't be. Too cold and too far." Peggy shoulders sagged for a moment. "I mean, they only live on the other side of London, but with the roads the way they are…."

Steve nodded, the temperatures had plummeted in the past 12 hours, and the roads were very icy. It would be difficult to get anywhere, much less return safely—especially at nightfall. Staying was the only safe choice.

"I've got a turn on the phone at 1700 hours, though." Peggy tried to look on the bright side. "I'll be able to talk with them at least. That's more then some will get." They walked in silence from their office towards the mess hall. As they passed the stairs leading to the barracks, Peggy spoke to a Private who was ascending the stairs.

"Lucy, the King's Christmas message..."

"We have a radio in our barracks." Lucy said, "We've already got it tuned." Peggy nodded.

She and Steve continued to the mess hall. Most of the agents and Commandos had already arrived, and there were several men crowded around the radio, each offering advice to help get the movie tuned.

Peggy fought the urge to roll her eyes and walked up, "Let me." It came out as an order and all five men scattered. She fiddled with the radio for a moment, before a jazzy Christmas tune played, she went through the stations and turned to a corporal, "Go get every one from the kitchen." Slowly, everyone filed in.

Finally, a deep voice boomed from the radio. "His Majesty King George VI." ' _God save the King_ ' crackled through tiny speaker, and everyone stood. Millie reached out and took Ruth's hand. Peggy slipped a handkerchief out of her pockets. Falsworth and Pinkerton were the first to take their hats off, but the other men followed suit.

There was silence for a moment before King George VI began speaking: _"Once_ _more; on Christmas day; I speak to millions of you scattered far and near across the world."_ Millie sniffled and several women rummaged through their pockets for handkerchief's. Peggy held hers out and Millie took it with a watery smile and dabbed her eyes.

The room was silent except for the King's soothing voice. Even Bucky and Dum Dum were silent. There were several pauses during the speech, but no one spoke. You could have heard a pin drop in the large room.

" _...the lamps which the Germans had put out all over Europe are being rekindled and are beginning to shine through the fog of war that shrouds so many lands..."_

Behind him, Steve could hear a couple of ladies crying softly. Colonel Phillips cleared his throat.

" _...I wish you, from my heart, a happy Christmas and for the coming year, a full measure of that courage and faith in God, which alone, enables us to bear old sorrows and face new trials. Until the day when the Christmas message of Peace on earth and good will towards men, finally comes true..."_

There was complete silence in the Mess hall and on the radio before ' _God save the King_ ' began to play again. Peggy reached over and turned the radio off. Several of the women were dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs, and several of the men were clearing their throats. The mess hall was usually a flurry of activity and talk, but people only whispered. The kitchen staff quietly filed back into the kitchen and the tension in the room eased a bit as everyone began to disperse.

A couple of hours later, Peggy and Steve were back at their desks pretending to work. Steve had tried several times to mention the secret Santa, but was interrupted numerous times by Phillips or some other agent who came and went.

Finally they were left alone for more than a couple of moments and Steve spoke as he walked back to the desk he was borrowing. "Agent Carter, I, uh..." He trailed off as Peggy looked over at him.

Steve brought out the package from behind his back. "I picked you for the secret Santa. Merry Christmas." He held the present out for her, trying not to look or feel like an overly eager puppy who had brought their master a bone.

Peggy smiled as she opened the present. Her eyes sparkled as she saw the candy. "Thank you!" She moved the candy to see the book and for a moment her mouth dropped open in surprise. Covering her mouth, she looked up at him and started to giggle. For a moment Steve was confused. _Why was she giggling?_

Peggy set the gift down on her desk. Steve shifted nervously as his conscience berated him. _Had he misheard her? Had he gotten her the wrong book? Why had he agreed to this Secret Santa in the first place? And why hadn't he insisted that he switch with someone?_ He should have known that he wouldn't be able to impress Peggy. Peggy shook her head, starting to laugh now.

He turned to leave, cheeks hot and pink, but Peggy caught his arm. "Steve, wait!" She stepped around her desk, brow furrowed. She seemed to understand what he was thinking and she stopped giggling, her tone grew gentle. "Steve, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you." Her eyes and tone were so earnest that Steve couldn't help but believe her, but then why had she been laughing? Peggy dug through a desk drawer, then thrust a soft package into his hands. "We picked each other for the Secret Santa. Open your gift. You'll understand."

He unwound a scarf from a book and a piece of candy, the candy dots he'd spoken of earlier in the week. He shifted and revealed the book she'd gotten him. The Hobbit. He glanced from the book in his hands to the book on Peggy's desk, his head tilting slightly. They'd gotten each other the same book?

"Did you ask Lavinia, Millie and Ruth to help you find the Hobbit?" Peggy asked. At Steve's nod she kept talking. "You must have talked with them before I did. When I asked them to help me look for 'The Hobbit', Millie burst into giggles. I couldn't figure out why." She smiled gently, "Now I know."

Steve chuckled, finally seeing the humor, "Ruth did seem a little amused every time she saw another copy of this." He bit his lip for a moment still feeling like the scrawny guy no lady would want to dance with. "I remember what you said about reading it with your brother. I know this isn't the same but..."

"It's wonderful, Steve," Peggy stepped forward, but halted as they heard a voice down the hall. Peggy quickly looked behind Steve, then back up at him. "Follow me." Steve trailed behind Peggy as she walked from her desk to the mail room. She unlocked the door and opened it wide. "Get inside."

Steve turned the light on, as Peggy closed the door behind them. She waited until the door clicked shut before stepping close. "It's a wonderful gift Steve, incredibly thoughtful. I love it. Thank you." She leaned up and softly kissed his cheek. "I truly wasn't laughing at you, Steve."

Steve felt his fingers brush Peggy's and he swallowed nervously. "It's all right. I guess I'm still getting used to not being the laughing stock of the room."

"I never would have laughed at you, even before the serum," Peggy confessed.

"I believe that."For a moment, they looked at one another, then, they were kissing. Properly.

It was clear to Peggy that Steve did not have much experience. But what he lacked in experience, he more then made up for in an effort to be respectful and a willingness to be instructed. Their first kiss quickly got to a point where they separated, gasping.

"Steady on, Soldier." Peggy teased, knowing her lipstick would have to be reapplied. "That's the kind of kiss you give a girl _after_ your first dance with her." Steve blushed and Peggy did too. "After the war..."

"I'll take you dancing," Steve promised eagerly. "But only after the war. I overheard Phillips the other day; I don't want to get you into trouble." His head jerked towards the door. "If anyone sees us, you'll be the one in trouble, not me."

Peggy nodded and stepped back. "Is that a promise, Steve? That you'll take me dancing?"

Steve smiled. "Yes."

"I look forward to it." Peggy took a step towards the door and placed a hand on the doorknob, she smiled. "Thank you, again, for the wonderful gift, Steve."

"Peggy?" They turned as they heard Ruth's voice. "It's nearly your turn at the phone."

"Coming!" Peggy called. She flashed Steve a smile, grabbed a book from a nearby box and left the room. Steve watched her go, feeling somewhat more optimistic about the future. In the distance the radio played "Auld Lang Syne".

It was Christmas. He had received her book and a kiss. And there was the promise of a post-war dance in his future. Never was there a more happy Christmas that he could remember.

"God bless us everyone!"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm guessing when King George VI gave the Royal Christmas message in 1944, but I figure that it would be in the late morning sometime. I transcribed part of the 1944 message, but didn't get the whole thing.


End file.
